The Moments Archive
surrender
surrender is often misunderstood as giving up or admitting defeat
Dear Reader,
Surrender is often misunderstood as giving up or admitting defeat. But true surrender is something far more nuanced, more courageous, and often more difficult. It is the conscious choice to stop wrestling with what we cannot control and to trust that life will unfold as it needs to, even when we cannot see the path ahead.
We live in a culture that celebrates control. We are taught to make things happen, to push through obstacles, to never let go of the reins. And while determination absolutely has its place, there are moments when our tight grip becomes the very thing keeping us from moving forward. Surrender asks us to recognize those moments and to soften our stance, not out of weakness, but out of wisdom.
Surrender is not passive resignation. It is an active practice of discernment, learning to distinguish between what we can influence and what we must release. It's the breath we take when we stop forcing a conversation that isn't ready to happen. It's the peace we find when we accept that someone else's journey is theirs to walk, not ours to control. It's the relief that washes over us when we finally put down the burden we were never meant to carry alone.
This week, notice where you are holding on too tightly. Perhaps it's an outcome you're trying to force, a relationship you're trying to fix, or a version of yourself you're exhausted from maintaining. What might it feel like to loosen your grip, just slightly? What would change if you trusted that you don't have to orchestrate every detail for things to turn out okay?
Yours in the journey,
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letting go of expectations
expectations are a natural part of how we move through the world
Dear Reader,
Expectations are a natural part of how we move through the world. We carry them, often unconsciously, into our days and our relationships. They whisper stories of how things should unfold or of how others should behave. Or even of how we ourselves should be. And yet when those stories go unmet, as they so often do, we are left with disappointment, frustration or even resentment.
Letting go of expectations is about releasing our grip on rigid outcomes and allowing life to surprise us. Embodying this idea means learning to meet each moment on its own terms rather than through the lens of what we imagined it would be. What it’s not about is giving up on our hopes or lowering our standards.
There is a wonderful freedom in this kind of release. When we let go of the need for things to be a certain way, we actually make space for deeper presence, for true acceptance and for joy that is not contingent on perfection.
Consider a time when something didn’t go as you had hoped. Perhaps a conversation took a different turn or a plan fell apart. In the aftermath of that moment was there something unexpected that emerged? A different kind of beauty? A new insight? A shift in your understanding? Often it's only when our expectations fall away that we begin to see clearly what is actually here.
Yours in the journey,
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cultivating a sense of enough
Enough is not a fixed destination.
Dear Reader,
In a world that constantly urges us to reach for more, we are surrounded by messages that equate worth with productivity, success with accumulation, and joy with the next achievement just over the horizon. Yet if we pause and ask ourselves what it means to have enough, to be enough, we might begin to hear a more honest truth rising from within.
Enough is not a fixed destination. It is a deeply personal, ever-unfolding experience of alignment. It is the breath that steadies you, the embrace of what is here right now. To cultivate a sense of enough is to soften into the present moment with gratitude and clarity, to make peace with what you already carry, and to choose wholeness over striving.
Imagine sitting with your morning coffee not as a prelude to your to-do list but as a complete experience in itself. Imagine looking around your home and instead of seeing what needs to be fixed or bought or improved, noticing what already holds you. This shift does not mean abandoning your ambitions or desires. Rather, it means anchoring them in sufficiency instead of scarcity. When we live from a place of enough, we act not from lack but from love. We give more freely because we are not trying to prove anything. We rest without guilt because we trust our value is not contingent on constant doing.
This week, you might notice when the old narrative of not-enoughness arises. When it does, gently ask yourself what already exists in this moment that you can be grateful for.
Yours in the journey,
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tending the flame
Gentle persistence is the practice of staying close.
Dear Reader,
As a therapist, I continue to notice how quickly we drift from what we care about, and how often the turning point comes down to returning.
Gentle persistence is the practice of staying close. It happens when you loosen your grip on forcing change and choose presence with what matters, even when your attention wanders or your confidence dips. I think of this as tending the flame, a way of measuring the day by whether you came back to what matters.
There’s a moment most days when your mind starts negotiating, suggesting you hold off until you feel ready or have more energy. This suggestion sounds sensible enough, yet it usually turns into delay or procrastination. The practice is to hear the negotiation, let it be there, and still take one small step that keeps you connected to what matters.
Maybe that looks like reading one page instead of none, stepping outside for five minutes, writing two honest sentences, or sending a simple message you have been avoiding. Do it slowly enough that you can feel yourself doing it, like placing one more piece of kindling where it belongs. Let the step be modest, and let it count.
Over time, gentle persistence builds a steadier kind of trust, not that progress will always be visible, but that you will not abandon yourself when it is not. Each return becomes a vote for the life you are trying to grow, and the flame, tended with patience, stays lit.
Yours in the journey,
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the clean sentence
Most of us know how to keep things moving.
Dear Reader,
It often happens in ordinary moments.
You’re closing out the day, trying to get dinner on the table, or finally sitting down, and a message comes in that asks for something. You can feel the familiar crossroads: the fast reply that keeps things easy, or the slower reply that tells the truth.
Most of us know how to keep things moving. We answer quickly, soften what we mean, or offer a yes with the hope that energy will appear later. In the moment it can look like kindness, but if we aren’t careful the cost tends to show up afterward as tension, resentment, or that heavy feeling of living inside a commitment you never fully chose.
A clean sentence is a way of slowing down just enough to choose what you can actually stand behind. It matches your capacity, and it saves you from having to translate yourself later. It can be as simple as, “I can’t do tonight, but I can next week,” or “I want to help, and I need to check my schedule before I answer.” The specific words matter less than the feeling afterward, when you can breathe and recognize yourself in what you said.
If you want an experiment this week, choose one place where you usually answer too fast and give yourself ten seconds more than you normally would. Draft the clean sentence first, even if you never send it, and notice what your body does when you read it back. That reaction is often the clearest signal you have about whether your words are helping you stay present in your life, or quietly moving you away from it.
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