the archeology of self

Jul 9

Dear Reader,

There's a moment I've learned to watch for in my work. Someone is describing a pattern they've had for years, a way they always seem to respond, and partway through the sentence they slow down. They hear themselves. Then they ask, almost surprised: why do I do that?

I love that question, because it's so honest. Most of us can rattle off our coffee order and the things that reliably annoy us. But ask where any of it came from, why the sight of dishes in the sink can undo a whole evening, and we go quiet. We've been with ourselves our entire lives, and there's still a lot in here we've never gotten a good look at.

Last week we mentioned that this year we'd be staying with one thread instead of changing subjects every Thursday. This is it. We're calling the year of the archaeology of self, and we mean the name pretty literally. When something gets buried, it doesn't go away. It just ends up underneath the newer things. The way we react, the rules we follow without knowing they're rules, so much of it was laid down a long time ago, and it's still down there, quietly shaping the surface.

So the surface is where we'll begin. The parts of our lives that anyone could see. From there, the questions will work their way down on their own, a little further each week

For now, there's nothing to do. Maybe just try what my client did. Sometime this week, catch yourself mid-pattern, doing the thing you always do, and ask, gently, why do I do that? You don't need an answer. This year, we'll have plenty of time to look.

Yours in the journey,