how you walk the path

Mar 19

Dear Reader,

We spend a lot of energy thinking about outcomes. Did it work? Did we get there? Was it worth it? But somewhere along the way, we started measuring our lives only by endpoints, as if the hours and days we spend getting somewhere don't count unless we arrive at the right destination.

I've been thinking about this because I watched a client recently finish a project they'd been working on for months. The result was good, exactly what they'd hoped for. But getting there had been miserable. They'd pushed through exhaustion, snapped at people they cared about, and spent weeks feeling anxious and disconnected. When it was done, they felt relieved but not proud. The finish line didn't erase how they'd gotten there.

What if how we do something matters as much as what we accomplish? Not in some precious, everything-must-be-perfect way, but in a more honest one. The way you treat people while you're stressed reveals something. The shortcuts you're willing to take tell you what you actually value. The parts of yourself you're willing to sacrifice to get somewhere faster, those losses don't disappear just because you arrived.

This applies to the small things too. You can get dinner on the table and also make everyone around you tense in the process. You can finish your work and leave a trail of half-answers and avoided conversations behind you. You can reach your goal and realize you became someone you don't recognize along the way.

I'm not saying the middle has to feel good. Hard work is hard, and growth often comes with discomfort. But there's a difference between difficulty that's part of the process and cruelty you're inflicting on yourself or others because you've decided only the end result matters. One builds something. The other just burns through people and hope until you get where you're going.

The path shapes you as much as the destination does. Maybe more.

Yours in the journey,